Welcome back, Mama! In Part 2 of our postpartum body image series, we will discuss practical strategies for embracing and accepting your postpartum body. Here, we’ll explore how to deal with social pressure and comparison, and how to take confident steps towards loving yourself. We’re shifting gears from science and statistics to a lot of love, empowerment, and actionable steps that you can immediately implement.
But before we get to the good stuff, let’s take a moment to reflect on where we started. In Part 1, we talked about the reality of postpartum body changes and the emotional impact of body image dissatisfaction. We celebrated the incredible resilience of the female body and acknowledged the range of emotions we experience – admiration for what our bodies have achieved and a longing for our pre-baby shape. And most importantly, we highlighted why it’s important to be kind to yourself as you navigate all the changes in this period.
Now that we have a better understanding of the physical changes women go through and the emotional impact they can have, we’re ready to focus on self-compassion, acceptance, and practical steps that will empower us to appreciate ourselves and our bodies. It’s time to navigate the tricky terrain of social pressure and comparison while nurturing a positive body image that honors our unique journeys.
Embracing Your Postpartum Body
It is important to practice self-compassion and appreciate the incredible journey your body has been through during and after pregnancy. Your body has undergone tremendous changes to bring life into this world, and it deserves love and kindness.
Here are two effective strategies for practicing self-kindness and breaking the cycle of negative self-talk:
1. Give yourself grace: Instead of criticizing yourself, show compassion and kindness. Treat yourself in the same way you would treat a dear friend or family member. You wouldn’t tell them they look awful six weeks after giving birth, so don’t say it to yourself. You deserve the same understanding and compassion as anyone else going through a challenging experience.
2. Tell the truth: When you feel shame, comparison, or dissatisfaction with your body, tell yourself at least one truth. For example, remind yourself that you grew a whole human being and your body has been through the ringer. If you need a reminder of what it’s been through, jump to this post and skim the body systems section! This will shift your perspective from a perceived flaw to an objective statement.
Be patient with your body as it heals and adjusts. Remember, progress is more important than perfection. With time and practice, you can shift your inner dialogue and cultivate self-love and compassion.
FOSTERING BODY POSITIVITY IN POSTPARTUM
Shifting our focus to overall health and well-being rather than physical appearance is not only important but also empowering. Nourish your body with healthy foods, engage in gentle exercises that feel good, and prioritize self-care activities that promote mental and emotional well-being.
By prioritizing your overall health, you’ll naturally feel more confident and comfortable in your postpartum body, taking control of your journey to self-love and body positivity.
Here are some practical tips to help you practice self-love and foster body positivity:
- Surround yourself with positive influences. Fill your social media feed with body-positive accounts and follow inspiring individuals who celebrate diverse bodies and promote self-acceptance. But don’t stop there. Connect with uplifting communities and support networks, such as the AIM Village, to connect with other women going through similar experiences. I found a mom’s group that was real, raw, honest, and completely non-judgmental, and I instantly connected with the other mothers in the group, even though we were little more than strangers. This sense of belonging and support can make a world of difference in your postpartum journey.
- Embrace a diverse diet. Instead of restricting yourself, appreciate the variety of foods you can enjoy throughout your day. For instance, swap yogurt for chia seed pudding or your morning sandwich for a nutritious green smoothie. These small changes can enrich your diet with essential nutrients, while reducing the consumption of foods that might make you feel uncomfortable.
- Don’t obsess about exercising. It’s hard to move your postpartum body like you used to. You may have scars, extra skin, no ab muscles, and engorged breasts. Sit-ups and running can be uncomfortable or even painful. However, exercise is essential for both physical and mental health, so it’s not something you can neglect entirely. Instead, try some form of physical activity you enjoy, such as long stroller walks, gentle yoga, or counting the times you go up and down the stairs each day while carrying your child. Remember, it’s not all about weight loss or changing your body size.
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Navigating Social Pressure and Comparison
Is there anything worse than the comparison game? We know (in our logical brains) that we only see a snippet of someone else’s life that has been carefully curated and edited. However, our emotional brains don’t quite get that memo – we still compare ourselves negatively to images in the media. In today’s digital age, with more access than ever to everyone, it’s easy to recognize how body image has become a product of socially constructed ideals.
In a thorough examination of research on women’s body image during pregnancy and postpartum, researchers discovered that women often perceive societal standards to be centered around being thin, having perky, round breasts, flawless skin, and maintaining control over their weight through diet and exercise. While many women recognize that bodily changes are a natural part of pregnancy, their perception of their postpartum body suggests that once they give birth, they no longer feel justified in deviating from the societal body ideals they have internalized.
Unrealistic portrayals of postpartum bodies can significantly impact our self-perception, fueling the already blazing fire of emotions, self-doubt, and anxiety women feel during this time.
The following sections will focus on practical strategies for navigating social pressure and comparison, which will help you maintain a positive mindset and a healthy dose of realism when consuming content.
recognize the impact of social media
Social media platforms can be a blessing and a curse. While they provide opportunities for connection and community, they can also perpetuate unrealistic beauty standards and trigger feelings of inadequacy.
It’s essential to recognize that what you see on social media is often a curated version of reality. I repeat: social media is not real life. When you are doom scrolling in the wee hours of the night, remind yourself that behind those seemingly perfect images, a whole range of experiences and emotions are not being shown.
Don’t believe me? Look at your own socials. Go ahead; I’ll wait.
Do you have a photo of the fifteen times you almost imploded waiting for your toddler to do everything “by myself” today? Probably not.
How about the one with all three of your toddlers losing their ever-loving minds over who gets the pink snack cup? You better believe I took the picture (for posterity), but it did not end up on my feed.
What is there, however, are pictures where we look like a nice, happy, normal family, and most of us are looking at the camera.
Did these moments happen in real life? Yes, they did. Did I bribe my three-year-old with a cookie? Also, yes. And are there a million photos on my camera roll of my day-to-day life that don’t end up on public display? Obviously. It’s your turn! Are you showing up authentically or aesthetically?
curate your feeds
By curating your feed, you can take control of your social media experience. Unfollow accounts that make you feel inadequate or trigger negative emotions. That DIYer with the perfectly staged house, kid, husband, hair, makeup, clothes, and life? She’s a sweetheart, and it’s not personal, but I just can’t right now.
Instead, follow accounts that promote body positivity, self-acceptance, and realistic portrayals of postpartum bodies and experiences. Surround yourself with uplifting content that celebrates the beauty and strength of all body types and show the algorithm who’s boss!
Here are some of my favorite mama creators that are body-positive, inspirational, keep it real, and generally incredible women (in no particular order): @emilyvondy, @elyse_myers, @biglittlefeelings, @pedsdoctalk, @annalee15, @lindsaygurk, @diaryofanhonestmom
set boundaries with social media
Establishing boundaries with social media can help protect your mental well-being. Consider implementing the following strategies, and don’t be hard on yourself if you can’t stick to your limits. Be kind to yourself and try again tomorrow!
For an in-depth discussion on setting boundaries, check out this post!
- Limit screen time: Set specific time limits for using social media and stick to them. You can set it up on your phone, rather than just saying you will limit it to an hour because time gets warped once you start scrolling. And don’t click “Ignore Time Limit for Today.” If you absolutely need more time, click the “15 more minutes” button and then put it away.
- Take regular breaks: It’s hard to disconnect from your phone and focus on the present, especially as a mom. I constantly plan, find activities, research childhood development, and try to get ideas for being a better mom. But the irony is, while I’m busy scrolling, my kids are bored, and I still don’t have dinner started because, sadly, pinning recipes does not create a meal for me (rude!). I did a digital detox, which freed up so much more time to do activities with my kids, spend quality time with my family, and do the things that light me up and nourish my mind and body.
- Practice mindfulness: Be mindful of your emotions while using social media. If you notice feelings of envy, insecurity, or self-doubt arising, take a step back and remind yourself of the real and meaningful aspects of your life. Practice gratitude for your body, your family, and your life. Mindfulness sounds intimidating, but it’s just noticing and being present.
celebrate your journey
Remember that every postpartum journey is unique. Comparing yourself to others only diminishes the value of your own experience. Celebrate your achievements, big and small, and honor your progress on your path. Have you finished pumping after a year? Buy yourself a piece of breastmilk jewelry, donate your nursing bras, and get yourself a drink, Mama!
TL;DR...
Thanks for coming to my TED Talk on embracing your postpartum body and navigating the challenges that come with it. I hope you found at least one or two takeaways that resonated with you, made you feel seen, or helped move the needle even 5% toward self-compassion and feeling empowered in your body.
Remember, self-compassion is the key to embracing and accepting your postpartum body. Give yourself the grace and kindness you deserve. Shift your perspective from self-criticism to self-acceptance by acknowledging what your body has been through. Focus on overall health and well-being rather than the number on the scale or solely on physical appearance. Recognize social media’s impact and control your accounts by setting boundaries, staying present, and stacking your feeds with more positivity and inclusivity.
No matter where you are in your postpartum journey, here’s my message to you, my friend: You are a phenomenal woman who has brought life into this world. Your body is a testament to your strength, resilience, and love. Embrace it, appreciate it, and love it fiercely. You deserve all the kindness, compassion, and self-love you so easily give to those around you.
Sources:
Hodgkinson, E.L., Smith, D.M. & Wittkowski, A. Women’s experiences of their pregnancy and postpartum body image: a systematic review and meta-synthesis. BMC Pregnancy Childbirth 14, 330 (2014). https://doi.org/10.1186/1471-2393-14-330
